17 Things I have learned spending a month in the hospital (so far)

So this is my first public post in a while. I have uncovered a few “facts”, shall we say, while spending most of the past month at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem, NC with my dad. He has been in and out of the ICU since April 17 and I have learned….a lot. Here are a few insights for those of you who may be going to Wake Forest Hospital or really any hospital anytime soon.

  1. You can use a tube stuck in your arm to measure your blood pressure. Who knew!?
  2. Surgeons always move about the hospital in pairs. It’s like they are at camp and on the buddy system
  3. Stand in the corner of the bathroom furthest from the public toilet by the 5th floor waiting room while the toilet is flushing. Otherwise you will get splashed in the eye with toilet water while you are washing your hands.Β Trust me. I know. There is no going back.
  4. Ventilator straps do not get along with mustaches. They are like siblings at the end of a 12 hour car ride. There is nothing you can do to get them to sit next to each other peaceably
  5. New nurses tend to care about patients feelings more and explain more to the patient. Experienced nurses tend to be more jaded and stressed, but they are more efficient.
  6. Experienced doctors tend to be better about showing care and newer “student” doctors tend to be more interested in gaining their supervisors approval, but the newer doctors are much more easy to get in contact with.
  7. The stairs in the Ardmore tower are much more pleasant to walk up than the ones in the North tower.
  8. Also, there is a rooftop playground area on top of the Ardmore tower. You will probably encounter children and smokers in hospital gowns toting IV poles up there.
  9. The Subway in Reynolds tower is open until 11 pm but only on weekdays. The Einstein bagel is open until 3 am.
  10. If you see something called a “Magic Knight” that looks like a stapler, it is probably a pill crusher.
  11. If you are a nurse and a woman, you wear Danskos. That is your only choice. Unless you want to be some weird rebel and wear tennis shoes.
  12. Suction is your throat’s friend.
  13. If you have money in the market, invest in hand sanitizer. Now. …And nitrile gloves. And get your money out of the latex glove market. Why did you even have money in the latex market. You sure are silly.
  14. This is what sunrise looks like from room 453 Ardmore Tower.Sunrise from room 453
  15. There are better and worse lines to go in when leaving the parking garage. The 40ish year old parking attendant who wears a hoodie is a mean lady. Avoid her booth at all costs.
  16. The Wake Forest Hospital cafeteria has the best salad bar other than the restaurant Sweet Tomatoes in Utah.
  17. When the movie terminator becomes reality, hospital beds will be among the ruling class of robots. They weigh you, turn on the lights, drive down the hallway…The only thing these beds cannot do is give you a bath.

I hope these observations are helpful for you as you plan your next foray into the world of hospitals πŸ˜‰ For those of you following my dad’s condition on the private posts, I may put something up later today, but there is not much new happening, more of the same really. We are in a bit of a holding pattern right now. Thanks for keeping up.




7 thoughts on “17 Things I have learned spending a month in the hospital (so far)

  1. Stephanie says:

    This just totally made my day! So accurate. And you so funny πŸ™‚ Numbers 3, 12, 15, and 17 are my fav. P.s. maybe someone will work on making a bed that gives baths. It might be too much like going through the car wash though πŸ˜‰

  2. Marissa says:

    I love Sweet Tomatoes!!! I went to the one in Phoenix πŸ™‚ Mmmmmmmm… Now I’m hungry! Liked your post πŸ˜‰

  3. Ginny says:

    You definitely should be a writer or reporter. Your observation s and way with words is fantastic. I’m in for the chocolate muffins.

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