Wanderer

I don’t want to be a wanderer.
I am not a wanderer on purpose.
In fact, I hate it when people compliment me on how great it is
that I have lived in so many places and how brave I am.
I don’t feel brave.
Sometimes I have felt trapped.
Other times I have felt called.
Mostly, I still feel like that shy, insecure 6th grader who was shocked
when Karen introduced herself to the new girl sitting next to her
on the first day of class.
I long for roots.
I am terrified to be here, but grateful for the opportunity.
Maybe this time will be my home and not just a stopover.
maybe I will keep wandering
God alone knows.

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