I am at a point in my life where I think that I know my likes and dislikes pretty well. I know what circumstances and environments help me thrive. However, I don’t know if I am any closer to being in a place where I can thrive. I am more entrenched in the middle than ever. Living in DC made me fall in love with the city, but, after 17 summers at summer camp, I am also in love with the middle of nowhere. How do I balance the two?
I spent the evening today in Ann Arbor; I love that city. Just striding down the street feels powerful and puts a smile on my face. I just wanted to be able to get on my bike and ride to my row house in the city, but instead I had to drive almost an hour to my camp home. If I could put a camp in the city, and still have the seclusion, the lake, the rustic living conditions, and of course the campers, that would be heaven for me.
What is common to both camp and the city is the people. I love all of the people, their uniqueness, their personalities, just watching them exist is energizing.
Well, I don’t think there really is any solution to this current dilemma, unless a career change is in order, but I have had one too many of those already. I think I need to learn to love the life I have rather than focusing on the “grass is greener” mentality.
I read this article recently that precisely articulated the way I have been feeling lately or, more accurately, been trying to live and act like in spite of my feelings. The focus of my life is God. He is my joy, my center, and my best friend. Whatever else happens, no matter how earth shatteringly awesome or mind crushingly miserable cannot change my focus.
With God as my focus, I will love my life, no matter how different reality is from my daydreams.